For the three years I was with Nolan Hayes, I was known in his circle as the ultimate, perfect "Ride or Die" girlfriend. I never checked his location. I didn't care how many other women he texted. Even when he stayed out partying until dawn, I never picked a fight. Nolan was incredibly proud of this. He loved bragging to his boys about how hopelessly devoted I was to him. That was until one day, by pure accident, he found an old, private social media account filled with videos of me and my first love. Back then, I was petty, possessive, and easily jealous. I was the exact opposite of the "emotionally stable" woman I am now. In one of the videos, my first love was laughing helplessly, asking me: "Why do you have such a crazy temper?" I answered, completely deadpan and confident: "I only get mad because I love you! If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't give a damn what you did!" Nolan just froze. 1 When I ran into Nolan at an upscale downtown club, a gorgeous girl in a tight bodysuit and denim cutoffs was sitting on his lap. Her pale, slender arms were looped around his neck, and her glossed lips were curved in a sugary smile as she leaned into him. A few of his married friends in the VIP booth were already standing up, offering Nolan apologetic smiles. "Sorry, Nolan man. The wife is strict, she's already called me five times. If I'm not home in twenty minutes, I’m sleeping on the couch tonight." Nolan let the girl on his lap take the cigarette right out of his mouth and place it between her own lips. He scoffed. "You guys are pathetic. Letting a woman keep you on a leash." The single guys in the group started hyping him up. "That's our boy Nolan! Doesn't matter what time he rolls in, Stella never dares to ask questions. Seriously, man, how do you train her like that? Teach us your ways!" The girl in his lap giggled, pressing her chest against him. "Yeah, Nolan. Aren't you afraid Stella might walk in and get mad seeing us like this?" Nolan played with her hair, a smug look of pride settling on his face. "She's obsessed with me. She does whatever I tell her to. In the three years we've been together, she hasn’t started a single argument." "Damn! Legend!" The surrounding guys laughed, looks of envy plastered on their faces. "All these years, Nolan’s done whatever he wants, and Stella hasn't said a word. Now that’s a real man—" His words cut off abruptly. He had spotted me standing to the side, completely expressionless. Nolan saw me, too. There was zero panic on his face. He just casually pushed the girl off his lap, smirked, and waved me over. "What are you doing here?" I paused for a beat, then walked over, my voice calm. "I came with some friends." The girl he’d pushed away looked annoyed. She looked me up and down, forcing a stiff smile. "Hey, Stella." It was only when I got close that I recognized her. She was the new secretary at Nolan’s firm. Sienna. She was just a regular state college grad. I remember Nolan personally signing off on hiring her just because he liked the headshot on her resume. I didn't expect him to sleep with her this fast. I ignored her. Nolan looked pretty wasted. His handsome, dark eyes were hazy under the club lights. He grabbed my wrist and yanked me toward him. "Should’ve told me you were coming out. Give me a kiss." He leaned in toward my mouth. Instinctively, I dodged. I didn't know if he’d just been kissing Sienna, and the idea disgusted me. Nolan’s expression changed. The smile slid off his face. Even though he was the one sitting down, the look he gave me was utterly condescending. "Stella, what is your problem?" I turned my head and said softly, "You’re drunk." "You think you’re too good for me?" Probably feeling like I’d embarrassed him in front of his boys, Nolan’s eyes went cold. He suddenly grabbed Sienna, pulled her onto his lap, and cupped the back of her head. Sienna looked thrilled, eagerly accepting his kiss. The two of them proceeded to swap a wet, deep tongue-kiss right in front of my face. When Sienna finally pulled away ten seconds later, breathless, a thin string of saliva connected their lips. She looked at me, a triumphant smirk on her face. Nolan looked at me in pure defiance. His friends went silent, all eyes on me. No woman would tolerate her boyfriend kissing another girl right in front of her. They probably thought I was finally going to snap. I just locked eyes with Nolan for a second. "You’re wasted," I said flatly. "I’m leaving." As I turned to walk away, I heard one of Nolan’s friends gasp in awe. "Holy shit. Her emotions are like a rock. She's not even mad!" "Nolan’s just got it like that. She’s terrified of losing him, so she won't risk starting drama." 2 "She loves him too much. I heard she chased Nolan for an entire year back in the day. Completely submissive. She does whatever he says." Nolan let out a laugh, rich with contempt. "She can't leave me. She's too scared to ever get mad." The mid-winter air outside hit my face like a knife. Snow had started falling at some point, heavy and silent. In the distance, the headlights of passing cars turned the flakes red, and under the streetlights, they looked a hazy, vintage yellow. I tightened my scarf, leaned against the brick wall, and lit a cigarette. Menthols. The cold air made the smoke sting my lungs with a sharp pain. These were my first love’s favorite brand. When we were together, I used to beg him to let me have a puff, and he’d scold me every single time. "Stella, are you crazy? If I ever catch you smoking, I will literally break your legs!" The day we broke up, I bought my own pack. I coughed through every single drag. After that, there was no one left to care, so I just kept smoking them. I didn't do it often these days. But sometimes, when the emotions got too high, I couldn't help it. Seeing Nolan kiss someone else... it really didn't make me angry. Because I didn't love him at all. My relationship with Nolan began with me chasing him. The first time I saw Nolan Hayes was at a brand-new upscale bar. He was there as a VIP investor. The table in front of him was loaded with expensive bottles, and the beautiful women surrounding him were laughing hysterically at his jokes. That face attracted every set of female eyes in the room. I remember dozens of girls went up to ask for his number that night. I did, too. Plenty of girls liked Nolan, but I was the one who stuck around the longest. For a whole year, I was at his beck and call. One word from him, and I’d show up, no matter how far away I was. Nolan’s reputation as a rich playboy was infamous. His roster of women was never empty. Even when I knew he’d just finished up with someone else, if he called me to pick him up, I’d go. I never asked questions. I never said a word. I’d just make him some hangover food. Everyone thought I was absolutely pathetic. People whispered about how sad it was that the only daughter of a bankrupt family was now obsessed with the youngest Hayes heir, willing to be his doormat. The catalyst for actually getting together was a night we both drank too much and ended up stumbling into the same bed. I only remember that Nolan was incredibly rough. I cried a lot, just holding him and sobbing. When we woke up the next morning, Nolan looked at the marks all over my body and my swollen, crying eyes. For once, he seemed to actually have a heart. He lit a cigarette, taking a slow drag as he asked me carelessly: "You want to be my girlfriend?" "Let's get one thing straight, though," he said, biting down on the filter. "Don't try to control me. I hate women who nag." I stared at the comforter pooled around my chest for a long moment, then said: "Okay." Nolan always thought I was crying out of happiness that day. He didn't know that it was actually my first love’s birthday. His side profile looked so much like my first love. At that bar, I had spotted Nolan immediately in the crowd. That night, in the dim lighting, for just a fleeting moment, I felt like the person I lost had come back to me. ... I was with Lucas Wright from the time I was seventeen until we broke up at twenty-five. Almost a decade. He was the only scholarship kid at our prestigious private prep school, admitted solely because his test scores were through the roof. I heard his family used to be wealthy, but his father had been backstabbed by a business partner. After the bankruptcy, his father couldn't handle the fall and committed suicide. His mother was already in poor health and died of a broken heart shortly after. Overnight, Lucas went from a popular rich kid to an orphan with nothing. But Lucas bounced back fast. He was never humble, never arrogant. Even surrounded by trust-fund babies, he maintained the number-one spot in the class and was voted student body president. Who wouldn't fall for him? I confessed my love to him countless times, and got rejected every time. But I never gave up. Dozens of girls liked him, but they all gave up after being rejected. I was the only persistent one. Finally, right before graduation, during my sixth confession, Lucas asked me with a helpless look: "What do you even like about me?" My face was red, and my eyes were tearing up as I looked at him with stubborn defiance. I didn't know if I was angry or sad. I just knew I loved Lucas Wright. There was no "why." Sometimes love just doesn't have a reason. "I just like you! I like everything about you!" Lucas’s expression was unreadable. After a long silence, he said softly: "But I have nothing. I can't give you anything. A guy like me... do you still like me?" I shouted: "Yes! Lucas, listen, I love you, but even I have boundaries. If you don't say yes this time, I swear I’m never asking you again!" Lucas stared at me for a long time, letting out a long, heavy exhale. It was part helplessness, part surrender. Finally, he reached out and pulled me into a soft hug. "You really are an idiot." My eyes went wide, my heart missing a beat before hammering against my ribs. That was the first time I understood what it meant to be walking on air. Turns out, when you’re that happy, fireworks really do go off inside your chest. After that, Lucas and I were inseparable. He was brilliant, and my grades couldn't compete. Just to be with me, he intentionally left two major sections blank on his SATs so he could get into the same university as me. When I found out, I cried hysterically. He just held me and laughed. "Idiot. Why are you crying? College is college. Trust me, I’m never going to let you suffer." He didn't just make empty promises. Starting sophomore year, Lucas began working on his own startups. He and a few friends launched a tech company and made their first fortune. By the time we graduated, he had already bought a massive luxury penthouse downtown. He decorated it exactly how I liked, planning to use it as our future home. Everything was perfect. Our plans for the future only included each other. Neither of us ever doubted we would be together until the end. Until after graduation, when I took him home to meet my parents. And then I saw my father’s face turn completely white. Lucas swayed on his feet, all the color draining from his face. Later, I learned the truth. My father was the business partner who had backstabbed Lucas’s dad, causing his family’s ruin. Life is just that absurdly cruel. Because my dad was always away on business, Lucas had never seen him before. Neither of us could have ever predicted this possibility. That day, my dad ordered my mom and me to leave, demanding a private conversation with Lucas. Not long after, Lucas left without saying a word. He moved to Europe. He didn't leave a note. He didn't tell me anything. The man who would travel across the country just because I said I missed him, who promised to love me forever, who knelt on one knee with red eyes begging me to marry him, telling me that with me he finally had a home... he just abandoned me. And I couldn't even hate him. Because my father was the one who destroyed his life. Who wouldn't be full of hate? If it were me, I’d hate, too. Maybe it was karma, but after that, my father made several bad investments and committed suicide. My family went bankrupt. Meanwhile, Lucas thrived abroad. He had an incredible eye for investments, riding the tech boom. Within a few years, his company was ringing the bell at NASDAQ, and he became a famous tech magnate. The tables had turned, and we had zero contact. It was impossible for us to ever cross paths again. So when I met Nolan Hayes, I felt my long-dead heart actually beat again for the first time in years. To me, what did it matter who I was with? Nolan looked so much like Lucas. To me, it was a godsend. For the sake of that face, I spent three years being completely submissive, always available. I was there whenever he needed me. It didn't matter how late he was out partying; one phone call, and I’d get out of bed to go get him out of some other woman's hands. He didn't remember my birthday or our anniversary. Hell, on my birthday, he didn't even come home; he was out having a blast with some new girl he’d just met. Nolan had always been a notorious playboy in our circle, rich, handsome, and loved to party. He swapped women faster than he changed his clothes. Even before my family went bankrupt, I knew his name. After getting together with me, he didn't tone it down at all. Several girls even confronted me directly. I could tell a few times he wanted to break up with me, trying to start drama, but I never got jealous, and I never fought back. Over time, he just got used to having me around. He and all his friends truly believed I loved him to my core, that I was pathetically devoted. Truth was, I really didn't care. I just wanted to see that face occasionally when I woke up in the middle of the night. To pretend that Lucas was still by my side. By clinging to that shadow, I could keep going. 3 It was one of Nolan’s friend’s birthdays, so he’d rented out a private room at a restaurant. Everyone had brought their partners, and Nolan brought me. Except I didn't expect Sienna to show up, too. Naturally, she sat right next to Nolan. She actually looked at me and asked: "Stella, you don't mind if I sit here, do you?" Nolan glanced at me. I didn't say anything. The smile slowly slid off his face. With a cold laugh, he wrapped his arm around Sienna. Sienna looked genuinely crazy about Nolan. Throughout the meal, she kept toasting him, practically leaning against him as they whispered. She laughed at everything he said, collapsing onto his shoulder. I wasn't angry in the slightest. I just sat there quietly eating. Beside us, one of Nolan’s friends shook his head in envy and said to his own girlfriend: "Look at how chill she is. Unlike you, getting mad over every little thing. Learn from her!" His girlfriend was tipsy. Hearing this, she scoffed disdainfully: "I only care because I love you! If I didn't love you, I wouldn't give a damn what you did!" Maybe it was a coincidence, but the entire room went dead silent the second she said that. Nolan had obviously heard it, too. He was still smiling, but the fingers gripping his glass were white with tension. His friend froze, immediately trying to laugh it off and apologize: "My girl is wasted. Sorry, Nolan. She didn't mean anything by it." His girlfriend started apologizing, too. Nolan didn't say anything. He just fixed his gaze on me. I turned my head away, avoiding his eyes. He suddenly asked me: "You aren't even a little bit mad?" "Why would I be mad about this?" I asked, genuinely confused. "Isn't this exactly the kind of freedom you wanted?" I could see his face whenever I wanted. And he got his precious freedom. We both got what we needed. What was wrong with that? After all, from the very beginning when Nolan agreed to be with me, he had warned me not to try and control him. For all these years, his roster of women had never been empty. I assumed this was the dynamic he preferred. Nolan looked pissed off now, getting even closer to Sienna. She was almost sitting on his thigh, and the two of them started deeply kissing right in front of me. Zero respect for me as his girlfriend. Everyone else was used to this, but a few people looked at me with pity. I scrolled through the photos on my phone to pass the time, just waiting for the meal to end so I could go home. A few rounds of drinks later, Sienna was clearly hammered. She’d probably finally decided to make her move to replace me. She scrutinized me for a few seconds before picking a fight: "Who even uses an iPhone 12 anymore? That's so vintage." I ignored her, which only made her more aggressive. "I forgot what an iPhone 12 even looked like. It's an antique, right? I'm actually kinda curious. Stella, why don't you let me see your phone?" "No," I said, gripping the phone tighter. "Nolan~ tell Stella to let me see it. What’s the big deal with a phone?" Seeing I wasn't speaking, Nolan frowned: "She wants to see it. Just let her see it." "No," I refused again. "Nolan~" Sienna whined, shaking his arm. Probably feeling like I’d embarrassed him by refusing, Nolan’s face went cold as he held his hand out to me: "Phone." I didn't say a word. "What’s on the phone, anyway?" Sienna added fuel to the fire. "Is it, like, something you can't show people?" Nolan’s eyes darkened, and he lunged to snatch the phone from my hand. "What are you doing?!" I gasped, but the phone slipped and fell in the struggle. Instinctively, I shoved Nolan away to catch it. His lower back slammed into the edge of the table, and he groaned in pain, cursing at me: "What the hell is wrong with you, Stella?! It's just a damn phone! If it breaks, I’ll buy you a new—" The next second, he saw the video playing on the screen, and all his words died in his throat. The video I had just been watching had started playing again. It was from back when Lucas and I were still together. I was on his back, not knowing he was recording me, pouting as I scolded him. "Why did you talk so much to that girl today?!" Lucas groaned, sounding helpless. "She’s the VP of the student body. We were talking about official club business. Seriously, Stella, why are you such a jealous brat?" I got angrier. "I only get jealous because I love you! If I didn't love you, I wouldn't care if you died!" Lucas just laughed, shifting my weight higher on his back. "Fine, fine, you love me, I get it. Am I supposed to be happy about that?" I leaned down and poked his cheek: "You are not allowed to talk to other girls from now on. You are not allowed to add other girls on social media. You are not allowed to love anyone else!" "Okay, okay. I’ll listen to everything you say. Where do you get this crazy temper..." The video kept playing. I picked up the phone and shut it off. Nolan remained in the exact same position, completely frozen. No one had expected this twist. The room went silent, all eyes on us. The next second, Nolan suddenly snatched the phone from my hand and violently threw it against the ground! Instinctively, I slapped Nolan right across his face. I bent down in a panic, scrambling to pick up the phone. This was the very last thing I had left of Lucas Wright. The phone was completely destroyed. The screen was black. I clutched the phone, and only then did I react. I turned my head to look at Nolan. The slap hadn’t been that hard. But Nolan looked completely stunned. He didn't even cover his face; he just stood there staring at me, looking lost, as if he didn't recognize me anymore. Everyone was shocked. No one dared to make a sound. You could hear a pin drop. I felt a twinge of regret, but at the same time, I felt a strange sense of relief I couldn't explain. Actually, I hadn’t meant to hit Nolan. It was just a reflex. Since things had already come to this, I knew Nolan and I were over. I stood up, grabbed my bag, and walked out. When I got outside, I sent Nolan one last text. "Let’s break up."
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